You...

Even though you know all my flaws
you accepted me without pause
You make me feel like Im worth it
you make me want to be more than a half-whit

Things may not have been good
so many things I misunderstood
I don't wanna push you
But it can't be helped and It won't undo

Don't do anything you don't wanna do
because I know these consequences will be new
tell me slow and Ill go slow tell me fast and I'll go fast
Because I don't want to feel like I've trespassed

Things may not have been good
so many things I misunderstood
I don't wanna push you
But it can't be helped and It won't undo

If you don't wanna do this, if you start to get scared
just tell me if you're not prepared
Cuz I'm a big girl and can handle it
I know how hard it is to commit

Things may not have been good
so many things I misunderstood
I don't wanna push you
But it can't be helped and It won't undo



(not done)
(C) Bonnie B.

Just Tell mee

Need to watch the steps Im taking
Need to think about the hearts I'm breaking
One missed step, one wrong word
I don't want this to be awkward
Why does it have to be this way?

Tell me now that you don't want me
I Just need to know
Where exactly I'm so post to go
Why do I love him so much
Just waitin' for his touch
Just tell me that you don't want me

Can't believe I'm one of them
Who's love will condemn
I hate myself more and more
I think my soul just tore
Why am I acting this way?

Tell me now that you don't want me
I Just need to know
Where exactly I'm so post to go
Why do I love him so much
Just waitin' for his touch
Just tell me that you don't want me

Will anyone tell me it's all ok?
Will anyone tell me what to say?
Anyone just love me in every way
Or will I just have to pay?
Why do I feel that way?

Tell me now that you don't want me
I Just need to know
Where exactly I'm so post to go
Why do I love him so much
Just waitin' for his touch
Just tell me now that you don't want me



(not done)
(c) Bonnie B.

Dying

As I lay here in the dark
I look into myself, it darkens
I gaze at the stars, not seeing
though my tears that are falling

Dying from the inside out
Bleeding from my wounds
Im out here all alone
someone take me in their arms
and tell me its ok

I wisper as I cry in the night
asking for the truth outright
do you love me?, will you have me?
just tell me truly

Dying from the inside out
Bleeding from my wounds
Im out here all alone
someone take me in their arms
and tell me its ok

keep makin' the same mistakes
keep havin' all these heartbreaks
show me how to let it All go
cuz' I don't want to carry this anymore, NO

Dying from the inside out
Bleeding from my wounds
Im out here all alone
someone take me in their arms
and tell me its ok


(c) Bonnie B.
(not done)

Mistake

Why is it like this?
Longing for a kiss
Which path should I take
Cuz' Im afraid I'll make a mistake

So confused, don't know where to go
I feel like I've sunk so low
what's wrong with me? why am I doing this?
Why is everything so amiss?

I don't want it, I can't lose it
All I seem to want is benefit
NO! Im not like that, I don't do this
But it seems like bliss...

Why is it like this?
Longing for a kiss
Which path should I take
Cuz' Im afraid I'll make a mistake

Everywhere I turn, every time I look
Im caught like a fish on a hook
What happened to those old time cooties?
So I can get rid of All these worries

Its not your fault, maby you feel it too?
But I really have no freakin' clue
Just don't look into my eyes the way you do
yeah, just stop being so true

Why is it like this?
Longing for a kiss
Which path should I take
Cuz' Im afraid I'll make a mistake

Make a mistake like I always do
Make a mistake I can't undo
I don't wanna take what we have away
so just do as I say
yeah... just do as I say
.......
*sigh*




(c) Bonnie B.

This is why I Cried

There is a pain deep inside
and this is why I cried

Cuz' every time I stop and think
I just seem to shrink

Shrink into the nothing I have become
Have I finally hit rock bottom?

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I cried

Keep on laughing, keep on smiling
Keep on dialing, the wrong number

Goin' everywhere, not gettin' anywhere
All I can tell you is beware

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I cried

So many mistakes
To many outbreaks

I cant make it go away
So I guess its here to stay

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I cried

Yes they'll have me, but will they keep me?
Because to tell the truth Im not all that friendly

I don't mean it, I don't know Im doin' it
It's just so hard for me to commit

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I cried

Keeps seeming like Im trying to laugh it all off
But it keeps coming back all too often

I'm so mixed up, so inside out
All I wanna do anymore is shout

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I cried

There is a pain deep inside
And this is why I'm crying





(c) Bonnie B.

Tears

Tears fall like rain
on this pointless life
give me its purpose
And I might not go insane

Im just looking for some one to love me
was starting to get desperate
found out I can't just take any
till I find that he won't have me

here I wait
for my long coming fate
so many wrongs, yet so many right
All I want is my long Awaited knight

Tears fall like rain
on this pointless life
give me its purpose
And I might not go insane

maybe Im wanting too much
why do I crave your touch?
I've never felt this way before
It's to much for me to Ignore

Tears fall like rain
on this pointless life
give me its purpose
And I might not go insane


(c)Bonnie B.

I don't need A Fake

Don't pretend to be my friend
don't Pretend To be anything more
there's no need for anyone to pretend a friend
If anything a real friend or my true amour

Cuz, I'm just fine on my own
Yeah I'd rather be alone
I don't need a fake
don't you know all they do is take
Don't pretend, No Just Don't
Cuz I don't need a fake

Im not pretending for anyone
I require the same
you have no duty to me, no none
so no one is to blame

Cuz, I'm just fine on my own
Yeah I'd rather be alone
I don't need a fake
don't you know all they do is take
Don't pretend, No Just Don't
Cuz I don't need a fake

Don't pretend to be anything your not
Keep this going, you'll get yourself in a deadlock
Cuz I don't need some big-shot
And I don't want your tainted talk

Cuz, I'm just fine on my own
Yeah I'd rather be alone
I don't need a fake
don't you know all they do is take
Don't pretend, No Just Don't
Cuz I don't need a fake

All I need is someone to get rid of this heartbreak
and If I get another Fake
I think it might just be its last break
so I better not make another mistake

Cuz, I'm just fine on my own
Yeah I'd rather be alone
I don't need a fake
don't you know all they do is take
Don't pretend, No Just Don't
Cuz I don't need a fake


(c) Bonnie B.
(GAH,...not done...)

His Love

The world so empty so lost
sooner or later we will pay the cost

of tricks and treason
or any and all reason

you may have escaped punishment on earth
but eventually it will take its worth

there is a way to wash it all away
because someone else did pay

Pay for all the sin of humankind
so you can leave it all behind

just open your eyes and your heart
you won't know how you were ever apart

from the one who knows you inside and out
and can erase all of your doubt

about Hope,Faith, or Love
because it all was created by the one above

he'll make you feel like your worth it
but only if you submit

your heart and soul
or else you will pay the toll

of denying the one and only way
for the last coming day

you will not regret your choice
you will long to hear his voice

he will love you for you
and will always be true

Just be who you are
you are his shining star

you may stray from him
but once again the world will dim

because the only way life is worth a thing
is if you grasping

The hand of Jesus
who is and always will be Blameless

he can show you all there is and more
something you cannot ignore

give him a chance, he is waiting
all you have to do is be willing

it Dose'nt matter what you've done however big or small
he will still take you flaws and all

just take his hand and watch it all fade away
be sure you do not go astray

there is more after life on earth
he has a place for you that's worth

where you will dwell ever after
and love your Lord at his alter

where there will be no pain
and were there is no rain

what will you choose when it comes down to it all?
will you go the everlasting way or will you take your fall?

it is all up to you
if you want to be brand new

but it is even more
than just being thought as poor

if you don't go the right way
the only other way is the wrong way

there you will surely pay it to the fullest
where all there is, is coldness

and were there is no hope
all you can do is cope

this place I speak of
is the opposite from above

this place I speak of shall remain nameless
but just remember that this place is anything but painless

take his hand, he will lead you
submit your pain, he will heal you

Give him your heart, he will love you
show him you sin, he will forgive you

what else could you ask for?
he will give it all to you and more




(I don't know what to put as an ending)



(c) Bonnie B.

Taking a chance for my long awaited romance

Ok Im taking a chance

And making my advance

You got mee entranced

With just one glance

Am I always doomed for mischance

Or will I finally get my long awaited romance

are you the one perchance?

I'll wait till find out to do my happy dance

For now you keep makeing my heart prance

Im taking a chance

For my long awaited romance




(c) Bonnie B.

Dont let mee Fade

Im lost I don't know where I am
but no one seems to give a d@mn

I need someone to love mee
But no one seems to see mee

I wish that it would all go away
so that I don't have to lose myself in every day

I don't know if I can keep holding in this pain
If I do I'll just go completely insane

What happened to that happy ending
or was every one just pretending

Im out in the open for everyone to see
and all I want to do is run away from mee

I don't want to be who I am anymore
this little girl is tired of being thought as poor

Im more than you think I am
cant you just give me a chance
I don't know How to be mee anymore
I don't know how to be anything
shadow Of a person
I need someone to hold my hand and tell mee where to go
because if you keep letting mee do what Im doing
you might just lose mee
and have to think of mee as past
Im slowly fading away to nothing
please don't let mee go
I know that Im not perfect
I know Im not even close
but I really need someone to come and take my hand and help mee
instead of letting mee fade away...
fade away to nothing




(c) Bonnie B.

Longing

Come to me in my dreams,and then by day
I shall face what I may
For the night will more than pay
for The hopeless longing of the day.

when you come back at last
will you just think of me as past?
or will you make my moments true
without me giving you the cue

will you still be the same
will you still know my name
are you what I think you are
or will I ever make your bar

for now all I do is pray
and wait for your coming day
hoping you will love me every way
so that I dont have to pay

Come to me in my dreams, and then by day
I shall face what I may
For the night will more than pay
For The hopeless longing of the day.


(c) Bonnie B.

To avoid criticism...

to avoid criticism

to avoid
to stay away from
criticism
to judge
to avoid judgment
judgment
opinion
to avoid other peoples opinion
to think about
to avoid thought
thought
reflection
to avoid reflection
to consider carefully
to avoid being considerd
to think over with care
to develop ideas
to avoid ideas

to avoid criticism, judgement, opinion, thought, considering, ideas.....
is to be nothing

nothing is to be of no value, use, or importance

to avoid criticism is to be nothing

Im definitely not nothing

so who am I?

(c) Bonnie B.

keep mee?

Waiting for the Inevitable to happen
for my past to pull mee under
used all the ways out
used all my strength
all my soul
all I had left
this battle scared girl is tired of fighting
tired of living as if in some care-free world
that no longer exists
the real world is out to get mee
and only hope that’s left
is the hope that my knight in shining armor
will come
the longer I looked
the longer I wait
I realize
he’s never coming for mee
no one is coming for mee
I am empty
darkness that once had a strong hold on my existence
will once agin take a hold of my heart and this time
that darkness will break mee
break mee past healing
past living
no one loves mee...
not for mee
no one wants mee
no one keeps mee
can you save mee from this darkness?
will you want mee?
keep mee?
Because...
no one else will
just
keep mee
keep MEE



(c)Bonnie B.